Table-of-Contents

I.    Preface
II.   Your Dog Died (2 actors)
III.  A Crime in Action (2 actors, 1 narrator)
IV.   Café Le Chew (2 actors)
V.    Stagecoach (2 actors)
VI.   No Touchy Karate (2 actors)
VII.  Stargazer (1 narrator, volunteers)
VIII. Lady's Man (1 narrator, volunteers)

Preface

These skits are designed to be a funny transition which last about 10 to 15 minutes. They usually take two people and do not require a whole lot of preparation but do require some. The sillier you make it the more funny they will be. Some of them are basically pranks pulled on volunteers. Everything in italics and set off with *Asterisks* are actions to be done.

back to the top

Your Dog Died

Requirements: 2 Actors, 2 chairs or car prop, briefcase.

This stars 2 people, 1 is a boss who just got back from a trip and the other is his nincompoop assistant Charlie. The boss needs to be as serious as he can in the beginning moving to more and more shocked, eventually completely overwhelmed. Charlie needs to be as silly as he can.

Script:

*Chairs need to be set up in middle of room to be used as the car. Charlie enters from one side and the boss is at the other side waiting with his briefcase. Assistant comes running over to boss to greet his extremely excited.*

Charlie: Boss! Boss! It's so good to see you again. *Gives boss a big bear hug then takes briefcase.* I'll take your briefcase boss! *Pulls or shoves boss toward car.* Here, let me get the door for you! *Pretends to open door and then shoves boss into seat and throws brief case into his lap. Then gets into car on other side and starts to drive off.*

Boss: *Acts overwhelmed.* So, Charlie, did anything happen while I was gone?

Charlie: Nope Nothing! *Pause.* Well, actually you dog died.

Boss: My dog died? How?

Charlie: Well he went into the barn and ate the dead horse meat and then he died.

Boss: Dead horse meat? How did he eat dead horse meat?

Charlie: Well you see, the barn was on fire and all the horses died.

Boss: The barn was on fire?! How did the barn get on fire?

Charlie: Well you see, the candles lit the drapes in the house on fire, and then whoosh, the house caught on fire and went over to the barn and burned it down.

Boss: Candles? Why were there candles burning in my house?

Charlie: Well they lit them for your mother's funeral in your house.

Boss: My mother's funeral! How did my mother die?

Charlie: Well she was driving your brand new BMW and then crash! and she died and then they had the funeral and the drapes when whoosh and burnt the house down then the barn caught on fire and killed the horses and then the dog came in and ate the dead horse meat. I sure am going to miss that dog.

back to the top

A Crime in Action

Requirements: 2 actors, 1 narrator, 1 object to steal (cell phone with belt clip is ideal).

This skit needs to be well rehearsed before hand. It takes a lot of practice to get everything down right. The narrator will say something before each scene and then the actors act it out. After each scene the narrator says something and then rewinds the footage. When it is rewinding the actors need to do every action backwards and make funny sounds like they are talking backwards (Yualp nip ro ceeluop froop, etc.) the start the next sequence, add more actions, and then repeat everything from the previous sequences.

Narrator: I want to show you a scene which you may think is just a normal occurrence.

*The mugger and victim appear on opposite sides of the room, the victim has his cell phone or easily stolen object on his belt. As the walk toward each other, the mugger bumps into the shoulder of the victim.* Mugger: "Sorry!" Victim: "Not a problem!" *Then they walk to the other side of the room.*

Narrator: You have just witnessed a crime in action! Thanks to my Pros-angio-refracting-difibulator I have the ability to rewind this sequence and then watch it in slow motion. Lets rewind this and watch it again.

Narrator: Now lets watch this again at one half speed.

*Both mugger and victim start walking from same place as last time this time about half speed as last time. When the mugger gets close, he bumps into the victim and then reaches around the victim and takes his cell phone. They repeat their lines and walk to the other side.*

Narrator: Now as shocking as this is, it seems there is still more to this picture than meets the eye. Let's rewind this again using the Pros-angio-refracting-difibulator.

*The go backwards saying their backward speech, the bump, and placing the cell phone back on the victim.*

Narrator: Now let's watch again at one-forth speed.

*This time even slower. When the mugger gets to the victim, he punches him in the face, hits him in the stomach, and then pulls his head down and knees him in the face. then he repeats the bump, stealing, and lines.*

Narrator: As horrifying and appalling as this was, it is still not the whole picture. Thanks to the wonderful Pros-angio-refracting-difibulator we can rewind and watch one more time to see the whole event.

*Rewind saying lines backwards, doing bump and placing cell phone, pulling head away from knee and hands away from stomach and then face* (this will take some practice). *head back to starting point again.*

Narrator: Now lets watch the final sequence at one eighth speed.

*Even slower then last time each walk toward each other. This time both doing various martial arts, kicks, and punches. Remember it all must be slow. Finally, repeat punch to face, stomach, and knee face. Then bump and steal phone and say lines again.*

back to the top

Café Le Chew

Requirements: 2 actors, a table set to look fancy, various food object (lettuce, carrot, chips, banana, brownie, glass of water used in this skit).

This is to shock all the spectators and requires someone willing to eat someone else's food. Some youth groups it works well but others it just grosses them out. The waiter ideally uses a French accent and acts like it is a top class restaurant. The customer acts excited and enjoys all his food.

*The customer is sitting at the table and the waiter comes over to the table from the far end of the room with a plate with lettuce and carrot on it (not too much of either).*

Waiter: Welcome to Café Le Chew. We pride ourselves on our service. Now to start you off we have a French salad. Now, would you like this a lightly chew, a medium chew, or a heavy chew?

Customer: Well, what would you recommend?

Waiter: Oh, I recommend the heavy chew.

Customer: Ok I'll have the heavy chew.

*The waiter proceeds to put the lettuce in his mouth, chew it up and spit in on the plate. He then does the same for the carrot.*

Waiter: Here you are sir, bon appetite.

Customer: *Eats food with a smile on his face.* Mmmm, this is very good.

Waiter: Oh I am so happy you enjoyed it. Now next on our menu are lightly fried potato skins. I'll be right back. *Hurriedly runs off and gets a couple potato chips and puts them on the plate and comes back.* Now would you like your potato skins a lightly chew, a medium chew, or a heavy chew?

Customer: *Looks toward audience.* Well, I don't know. *Pause and crowd should chant "Heavy!"* Well, I'll have the heavy chew.

Waiter: Very good. *Barely chews up potato chips and spits them on plate.*

Customer: *Angrily:* What! I asked for heavy chew!

Waiter: Oh, I am so sorry! *Puts chips back in mouth and spits them out mush.*

Customer: Mmm, much better.

Waiter: Now for our main course we have a nice fruit salad. I'll be right back. *Runs back and gets banana (small amounts of other fruit can be added too).* Now would you like this a lightly chew, a medium chew, or a heavy chew?

Customer: *Pauses while looks toward audience* I'll have the heavy chew.

Waiter: Very good. *Chews up banana and any other fruit and spits them on plate as mush.*

Customer: *Eats food.* This is excellent.

Waiter: Oh I am so glad you enjoy. Now for desert we have a nice chocolate brownie. *Runs and gets brownie.* Now, would you like this a lightly chew, a medium chew, or a heavy chew?

Customer: *Waits for audience.* I'll have the heavy chew.

Waiter: *Chews up and spits out brownie but keeps a small chunk in his mouth.* Here you are sir.

Customer: Mmm, this is exquisite.

Waiter: Well, to finish it all off we have some fresh Canadian spring water. I'll be right back. *Runs and gets a glass of water.* Now would you like this a swish, a swash, or a gargle?

Customer: *Waits for audience.* I'll have the gargle.

Waiter: Very good. *Drinks water and swishes it in mouth and then gargles with water. Splits water back into glass including a chunk of the brownie kept in his mouth from before.*

Customer: *Drinks water and then taps bottom of glass to get the last chunk of brownie from the bottom of the glass.*

back to the top

Stagecoach

Requirements: 2 Actors not afraid to make a fool of themselves, 2 chairs or other stagecoach prop, possibly even a fake shotgun for prop.

*This skit places two individuals on a stagecoach making their bodies shake like they were on a bumpy ride. One makes waving motions with his arms like he is whipping the horses. The other sits to his side pretending to hold a shot gun.*

Man 1: So did you hear about the wooden Indian?

Man 2: Wooden Indian? No, I haven't head about him.

Man 1: Yeah, He has a wooden bow.

Man 2: Oh yeah?

Man 1: Yeah, and it has wooden arrows.

Man 2: Oh really.

Man 1: Yep, you know what would happen if he shot you with one?

Man 2: No, what?

Man 1: Wouldn't hurt!

*Both start laughing and slapping knees. You will probably have to stop and tell the audience that they have to participate in laughing with them. Then start going again for a little while.*

Man 2: Look, Indians!

*Man 2 begins shooting his shotgun at something behind the stagecoach and Man 1 begins to whip violently and quickly with his reigns. Also, both people start shaking more violently. All actions, especially shotgun fire needs to be exaggerated. Do this for about 30 seconds.*

Man 1: River!

*Both people hold breath and puff cheeks out. Make motion like they are swimming under water. At the same time, both come up and resume using reigns and shooting shot gun. Optionally, they can switch places after a while. Do this again for about 30 seconds.*

Man 1: Cliff!

*Both men hold hands up in the air (like roller coaster) looking down and yelling. At the same time, both resume driving coach and shooting Indians. Continue about 15 more seconds and then both suddenly stop.*

Man 1: *Stands up and checks pockets.* Aww man, I'm all outta quarters too.

back to the top

No Touchy Karate

Requirements: 2 actors willing to fall on ground, possible decorations to make look more martial artsy (bandannas, etc.).

*This skit is almost completely impromptu. Each person needs to watch the other and take turns hurting themselves and acting accordingly.*

Speaker: Welcome, We have mastered the art of No Touchy Karate. We inflict pain on our opponent by first inflicting pain upon ourself.

*Both proceeds to fight each other, the speaker start with something simple like punching his face. His opponent then acts like he was punched in his face. He then returns with an attack on himself and the speaker acts like it was done to him. Continue until the grand finale. There are two ways to end it, either one begins to choke himself and his opponent drops dead to the floor and then he drops to the floor or one takes off his shoe and sniffs it. The opponent begins to choke and die and then the one who sniffed the shoe falls down dead.*

Ideas: Some ideas to use in No Touchy Karate are punching self. Stomping on your own foot. Body slamming yourself on floor. Hitting yourself over the head with a chair. Ripping the arm hair out of arm pit. Trying to poke out eyes 3 stooges style, the opponent holds hand against nose to block, then the aggressor pokes each eye out with the index finger of each hand. Slapping self. Running into walls. Eating boogers. Twisting ear or nose. Just remember, build excitement before each act with a short pause and showing deliberately what one guy is going to do to the other.

back to the top

Stargazer

Requirements: 1 Speaker, 1 volunteer (more can be used but they must leave room), as many astronomy related candy items as possible (Mars bar, Milky Way bar, Starbursts, etc.), 1 jacket or coat, 1 cup of water hidden from sight.

Speaker: I need a volunteer to go star gazing.

*Volunteer comes up on stage and sits in chair. Speaker then explains rules.*

Speaker: Ok, I am going to place this jacket over your head and I need you to look out through this telescope.

*Demonstrates by putting over head and looking through arm sleeve. then do to volunteer, make sure sleeve is pulled tight and he or she can see out of sleeve.*

Speaker: Ok I am going to show you the first object. *Holds Mars bar over sleeve so volunteer can see it. Once, the person acknowledges Mars bar (might need some help too see or the call it Mars):* Oh wow, you saw Mars, that is good for your first time. Humm, lets see if we can see something more difficult. *Now hold over Milky Way.* You saw the Milky Way! That's amazing, most people can't see that for quite some time. *Next show Starburst.* You saw a Starburst! You truly are talented at star gazing. Ok we have one more thing, the Big Dipper. *While saying this pick up the cup of water and pour it down the jacket hole. The Candy bars can be given away to the volunteers.*

back to the top

Lady's Man

Requirements: 1 Speaker, 2 volunteers of one gender just sitting, 3 or more volunteers of the opposite gender to say pick up lines, 3 medal folding chairs, 1 tarp large enough to cover them.

Setup: In order to do this you must set it up in front of everyone before or while choosing volunteers. Place 3 metal chairs next to each other (not too tight). Then place tarp over chairs to make a couch. Explain that you need 2 girls to be impressed and 3 or more guys to come in and say a pick-up line to impress the girls and then you will choose the best pick-up line. Ideally you want 2 girls to sit on the couch and 3 or more guys to say a pick-up line but it can be reversed. Make sure to demonstrate the process to the guys before they leave the room. They are to come in, sit down between the girls on the couch and say their line. Tell them presentation is very important. I give the example lines, "If I had to rearrange the alphabet, I would put 'U' and 'I' next to each other." or "You must be from Tennessee because you're the only 10 I see."

Presentation: Now send the volunteers out of the room to practice and think of their lines. While they do, have the girls get up, remove the middle folding chair from the couch and place the tarp back tightly so it looks like it did before and have the girls sit back down. Tell the girls to start up as soon as the guy starts to sit down. Then go bring the guys in one by one and hopefully when they sit down, they will fall on the floor. Have them sit down, fix the couch and repeat. You can also ask for the line they would have said.

back to the top